Love me, hate me but do not FUCKING lie to me!!

Does your child lie to you? I mean about EVERYTHING? Is it an age thing? Is it a gender thing? Will I have to go through this shit will all three of them? I gotta tell ya, I don't know if I can hack it! Go back to diapers!! Shit, I can handle. Spit up has nothing on me! Pee all over? I've got towels galore! Lying through your damn teeth while you look me straight in the eyes though? That's grounds for DISMISSAL! Dismissal as in, no one will ever find the evidence to prove it was me! You have caused your own demise here my boy!
Our oldest, Ayden, just turned 7. He's developing an attitude and a mean affluence to lying. I'm getting dinner on the table tonight. "Hey you guys. Are all the toys picked up?" A- "Yep!" (cue frantic running and toys being tossed around faster than a football at the 10 yard line). Me - "Are you sure Bud? A - "Yep! All picked up." Kye (middle son) - "No their not mommy" A - "Yes they are Kye!!!" K - Nuh huh! A - Un huh! K - Nuh huh!....You get the picture. Unknown to them, I'm standing at the top of the stairs watching this whole mess unfolding. Frantic toy tossing going on I tell ya! Frantic as hell! So I wait. I walk around the corner so to hide my voice a little and ask Ayden again if he's absolutely sure the toys are picked up. Again, "Yep!" I step around the corner to find him looking up the stairs with his arms full of toys. I confront him. "Why did you just lie to me?" Of course I get "I don't know." Nothing. Nothing pisses me off more than the "I. Don't. Know"!!! Makes me want to cut a bitch!
I remind him that this is not the first time today that he has lied to me and he needs to watch himself or the new BB gun birthday present is mine! (Judge away. Yes my 7 yr old has a BB gun. Yes, he wears safety glasses when shooting it. No, it doesn't shoot real bullets. No, he does not take off into the woods in search of dinner while ma and pa are at home tanning hides of the helpless animals he slaughtered for breakfast. That's next week's episode of "Killer of the Frozen Tundra" the Alaskan version). Anyway, the BB gun threat peaks his interest and he frantically apologizes.
Fast forward a few hours. The boys are in their room getting pj's on. They're messing around. Kye starts crying. "What happened?" Nothing. "What happened you guys?" Nothing. "Hello?! What the hell happened up there?" A - "NOTHING!!" K - "He kicked me in the stomach" A - "Did not!" K - "Did too!" A - "DID NOT!!" K - "DID TOO"...You get the picture.....
GAME OVER!!! Ayden got his extra life taken away and sent to bed. Kye & Teagan (daughter) brushed their teeth, put on pj's and went to bed. No passing GO. No collecting $200. No hanging out shopping and getting our nails done on Park Avenue! Straight. To. Jail!!! Hope you have an "in" and brought lots of smokes to trade with the nice people kids!!
Mommy's about to crack into a bottle of wine and read more 50 Shades of "Mr. Grey, you are a very fucked up man"! Hope your night is as peaceful as it is here right now.
I posted this earlier on my page. A share from "That one fb page". I do believe it just about covers it....



I do you guys. I really, really do!! LOL

Night all!!

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