I worked yesterday. I'm having another fucking period. This means I was tired and grouchy and bitchy today. I only work 3-4 days/month so when I do have to work, it's quite a process. I rarely ever go to bed before at least midnight. So getting up at 0430 really makes my life a living fucking hell when I do have to work. I do not ever have an issue with sleeping. I just like to spend some time to myself before I go to bed at night. It's my way of unwinding from the day, if you will. I know. I'm more or less a stay-at-home-mom. What unwinding could I possibly need? Ha!! Have you ever spent an entire day with three small children? All of them screaming at you at the same time for one thing or another? Melt downs, tripping over toys, them smacking each other, them screaming at each other, them throwing their toys, food, etc.? It may not be physically draining all the time but it's damn sure mentally and emotionally draining ALL the time!! You have to watch what you say, what you do, what look you give them, what look you don't give them. I'm raising the next generation here! I don't want them to turn out as fucked up as me! With that in mind, I may just start saving for their therapy now!
Today sucked big, fat, hairy, sweat stained balls. I wish I had a do over but I don't. Tomorrow HAS to be better! Tomorrow I HAVE to be a better person, a better mom. I HAVE to be more attentive. I HAVE to stop using the excuse that "I'm busy" for the reason that I can't drop the fucking eggs at that very second to look at the same picture of the scribbled....whatever the hell it is....that I have saw 6 times in the last half hour. I HAVE to stop being a bitch when my son starts bossing the other two around because I get so sick of him doing that! Only to realize, he's doing the same thing that I do to him every.single.day.
I lost my shit too many times today. So much so that I gave myself a headache. I was pissed when they sprayed each other with the hose after being told not to 5 times, leaving huge puddles in our $480 hydroseed potentially killing the up and coming grass. I was pissed when they tracked mud all over the downstairs AFTER I told them to undress in the garage and put their muddy clothes in the utility sink. I was pissed when they drug out every damn Lego they own and scattered them all over the upstairs living room. I was pissed when they wouldn't pick up the toys, when they acted like circus monkeys while we were eating dinner, when they almost flooded the damn bathroom because they were playing with the new stack of Dixie cups for rinsing after brushing thus ruining about 10 of them, when they didn't put away their outside toys and I almost ran over a tricycle, when they wouldn't get ready for t-ball like I asked 6 times thereby making us 20 minutes late, when they wouldn't get ready for bed, when they wouldn't stay in said bed, when I had to take a hand full of ibuprofen for the headache that I blamed solely on them but was also caused by lack of sleep, dehydration and probably too much coffee.
I love my kids but I'm going to have to start leaving them with a sitter more often and pick up more shifts. We don't need the money. I just need my sanity. I don't want to go on play dates. I don't want to go to a friends' house. I don't want friends to come to my house. I want a day where I don't have to listen to them fighting and arguing and me having to holler at them to get their attention. I swear they do not hear me unless I'm screaming like some fucking banshee. I can't take it anymore. I can't take being "that" mom. For now, I'll distance myself from them and them from me. Maybe one day I'll more appreciate having spent all this time with them while they were little. But maybe, just maybe one day, they'll appreciate me having done all the things that I do. Because right now, I feel like the only fucking reason I'm here is to please everyone else that lives in this house. Fuck what I want. Fuck how I feel. I'm totally overwhelmed and I just can't take it anymore.
Showing posts with label The Spawn - Satan. You ARE the father. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Spawn - Satan. You ARE the father. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 10, 2013
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
How's your dingle berries??
We started the day like any other here on the home front. Mass confusion followed by mass fuckery followed by mom losing her shit. Why do kids have to act that way?? Why is one day any different from the other? When did it become "ok" to do as we please rather than what needs to be got the hell done in the mornings??? Every. Single. Morning...."Hey guys, get dressed, brush your teeth and make your beds". Yes, I know they're only 4 and 7 but all I've asked them to do is "sit on your pillow, grab the corners of the sheet and comforter and pull 'em up". Simple right?? Apparently not!! I still have to tell them every single day to do those three simple tasks. Also, the boys have bunk beds. My fat ass is not schlepping up the ladder to make anyone's bed. AND every time I bend down to make the smallish one's bed, I whack my fucking head. Every. Damn. Time.
As I said we started this day like any other, then shit went south real fast.....The oldest felt it was his morning to tell me how shit was going to go down. The middle one decided he wasn't getting dressed and he was NOT going to go to preschool. The littlest one just ran in circles singing some annoying Dora song. I was sure eventually she'd fall down and barf from being dizzy but no. She just kept on going. Kids are so fricking weird!! All of this of course drove the mom into a complete mental awareness of her pending doom. Of course I was tired. Of course I didn't go to bed early enough last night. Of course I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget that school even exists. BUT...I couldn't. So instead, I put the smack down! I wasn't having the attitude of a 7 yr old and the stubborn bullshit of a 4 yr old slow me down! I was going to get through this morning! There would be survivors damn it!!! I'm a nurse! I save people's asses all the time! I hold pressure on profusely bleeding wounds! I pull people back from the brink of "the light" all the time! I perform CPR! I give mouth-to-mouth for fuck's sake!! *shudder* I HAVE to keep my cool in these situations! I can do this shit! Or....at least I thought I could. Today was NOT my fucking day!
The ride to school was an immense mess of screaming, fighting, arguing and just mass bullshit! I've never seen two people more fucking concerned with the other one's toy in my life! It was ri-dic-u-lous!!! "I want that! Give it to me now!" "NO, I HAD IT FIRST!" Whack, smack, scream, holler, scream some more....Then, oh then, enter mom. Mind you, I have never talked to my kids the way I did today...ever! I had had enough!! Could not take anymore bullshit! We were running almost 20 minutes late. TWENTY!!! I was past the eye twitch phase. I was past the steam pouring from my ears phase. I was in the glowing red eyes, waiting in the shadows to pounce and eat them raw, while screaming like a banshee phase!
Without warning, I yanked the wheel to the side of the road. I slammed on the brakes. I whipped around and proceeded to start screaming! Not yelling but SCREAMING!! I don't even remember what I said. I just know it was horrible!!!! Needless to say, the rest of the ride was extremely quite. I got the 4yr old dropped off and headed to the 7yr old's school. Of course we were 15 min. late for one and 10 min. early for the other. SMFH!! The school doesn't want the kids to go in too early so I pulled into the parking lot in hopes of apologizing for becoming Poltergeist earlier. And then it happened, the 7yr old started in on me! "I want to go in. Why can't I go in? I want to go in NOW mommy! All of my friends are going in. I want to go in!!! Mommy!! Mommy!!! MOMMMMMMYYYY!!!!"
I finally, very calmly turned to him and said, "You will go in when it is time. If you say one more word about going in, you will NEVER go in again! Do you understand what I'm laying down here?" He didn't get it and of course it just led to more bitching and whining and moaning and complaining until I finally told him to get out and go in. "Have a good day, bud!" "Whatever....mommy" Yes child, what-the-fuck-ever.
After school was even worse. It was a total melt down about going to karate. A mess of quantum levels in the parking lot at karate. I was so mad that my heart was hurting. I do not mean "breaking". I mean hurting! My left arm was numb. The fingers on my left hand were tingling. I was sure I was going to die right there! The child's incessant mockery of my parenting abilities then led to a skipped karate and a come home literally minutes before karate was starting. Then a fast jog to the bedroom for the night with the warning to never emerge again....at least not until morning.
I was left wondering, Why can't I be sent to my room for bad behavior?? I'd break every glass object, slam every door, throw every toy in this house to enjoy the peace and quite of my room for the evening if that's what it took!
Today sucked huge sweaty dingle berry assholes!! I can honestly say, I hated today. I hated everything about this shitty, sweaty, ass sucking day. All I know is, I have no idea whom that lady was today and I never want to meet her again! She was, bluntly, a fucking raging cunt and she scared me.
Night friends.
Meccala
As I said we started this day like any other, then shit went south real fast.....The oldest felt it was his morning to tell me how shit was going to go down. The middle one decided he wasn't getting dressed and he was NOT going to go to preschool. The littlest one just ran in circles singing some annoying Dora song. I was sure eventually she'd fall down and barf from being dizzy but no. She just kept on going. Kids are so fricking weird!! All of this of course drove the mom into a complete mental awareness of her pending doom. Of course I was tired. Of course I didn't go to bed early enough last night. Of course I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget that school even exists. BUT...I couldn't. So instead, I put the smack down! I wasn't having the attitude of a 7 yr old and the stubborn bullshit of a 4 yr old slow me down! I was going to get through this morning! There would be survivors damn it!!! I'm a nurse! I save people's asses all the time! I hold pressure on profusely bleeding wounds! I pull people back from the brink of "the light" all the time! I perform CPR! I give mouth-to-mouth for fuck's sake!! *shudder* I HAVE to keep my cool in these situations! I can do this shit! Or....at least I thought I could. Today was NOT my fucking day!
The ride to school was an immense mess of screaming, fighting, arguing and just mass bullshit! I've never seen two people more fucking concerned with the other one's toy in my life! It was ri-dic-u-lous!!! "I want that! Give it to me now!" "NO, I HAD IT FIRST!" Whack, smack, scream, holler, scream some more....Then, oh then, enter mom. Mind you, I have never talked to my kids the way I did today...ever! I had had enough!! Could not take anymore bullshit! We were running almost 20 minutes late. TWENTY!!! I was past the eye twitch phase. I was past the steam pouring from my ears phase. I was in the glowing red eyes, waiting in the shadows to pounce and eat them raw, while screaming like a banshee phase!
Without warning, I yanked the wheel to the side of the road. I slammed on the brakes. I whipped around and proceeded to start screaming! Not yelling but SCREAMING!! I don't even remember what I said. I just know it was horrible!!!! Needless to say, the rest of the ride was extremely quite. I got the 4yr old dropped off and headed to the 7yr old's school. Of course we were 15 min. late for one and 10 min. early for the other. SMFH!! The school doesn't want the kids to go in too early so I pulled into the parking lot in hopes of apologizing for becoming Poltergeist earlier. And then it happened, the 7yr old started in on me! "I want to go in. Why can't I go in? I want to go in NOW mommy! All of my friends are going in. I want to go in!!! Mommy!! Mommy!!! MOMMMMMMYYYY!!!!"
I finally, very calmly turned to him and said, "You will go in when it is time. If you say one more word about going in, you will NEVER go in again! Do you understand what I'm laying down here?" He didn't get it and of course it just led to more bitching and whining and moaning and complaining until I finally told him to get out and go in. "Have a good day, bud!" "Whatever....mommy" Yes child, what-the-fuck-ever.
After school was even worse. It was a total melt down about going to karate. A mess of quantum levels in the parking lot at karate. I was so mad that my heart was hurting. I do not mean "breaking". I mean hurting! My left arm was numb. The fingers on my left hand were tingling. I was sure I was going to die right there! The child's incessant mockery of my parenting abilities then led to a skipped karate and a come home literally minutes before karate was starting. Then a fast jog to the bedroom for the night with the warning to never emerge again....at least not until morning.
I was left wondering, Why can't I be sent to my room for bad behavior?? I'd break every glass object, slam every door, throw every toy in this house to enjoy the peace and quite of my room for the evening if that's what it took!
Today sucked huge sweaty dingle berry assholes!! I can honestly say, I hated today. I hated everything about this shitty, sweaty, ass sucking day. All I know is, I have no idea whom that lady was today and I never want to meet her again! She was, bluntly, a fucking raging cunt and she scared me.
Night friends.
Meccala
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Do you hear someone talking? Yeah, me neither...
How is your day going all? It's pretty quite around here. Kids cut up 5 reams of paper into "helicopters" and then scattered the pieces all over the kitchen, living room and dining room. At least we now have confetti....EVERYWHERE! Yeah!
We've had a few lessons in listening to mom as well. [thunk] WHAAAAAA!!!!! "What happened?" "T just fell off the couch." "What was she doing that she fell off the couch?" "She was standing on it cause we were going to jump in the water." They like to pretend the floor is the ocean. "Maybe she shouldn't be standing on the couch huh?" Don't listen to the mom! She has no idea what she's talking about 90% of the time anyway. She's never fell off of a couch (drunk or sober). She's never jumped from the top of the stairs and landed on her ass at the bottom! (another interesting feat we've accomplished today) She's never slid off the arm of the recliner taking out a kidney on the corner of the end table! What the hell does she know?! She's just the dumb mom!
One day....One day when they're my age and listening to their own kids trying to murder themselves on the furniture, then they'll realize, maybe that blabbing, annoying biotch was right! Maybe....one day....just maybe....but not for a looooong time from now. In the mean time....."Come here little lady. Let's put some ice on your bleeding lip. Daddy's going to be so impressed when he gets home from work. So impressed that maybe he'll be inclined to stay at home and I'll go back to work full time." BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
We've had a few lessons in listening to mom as well. [thunk] WHAAAAAA!!!!! "What happened?" "T just fell off the couch." "What was she doing that she fell off the couch?" "She was standing on it cause we were going to jump in the water." They like to pretend the floor is the ocean. "Maybe she shouldn't be standing on the couch huh?" Don't listen to the mom! She has no idea what she's talking about 90% of the time anyway. She's never fell off of a couch (drunk or sober). She's never jumped from the top of the stairs and landed on her ass at the bottom! (another interesting feat we've accomplished today) She's never slid off the arm of the recliner taking out a kidney on the corner of the end table! What the hell does she know?! She's just the dumb mom!
One day....One day when they're my age and listening to their own kids trying to murder themselves on the furniture, then they'll realize, maybe that blabbing, annoying biotch was right! Maybe....one day....just maybe....but not for a looooong time from now. In the mean time....."Come here little lady. Let's put some ice on your bleeding lip. Daddy's going to be so impressed when he gets home from work. So impressed that maybe he'll be inclined to stay at home and I'll go back to work full time." BAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Friday, March 8, 2013
Love me, hate me but do not FUCKING lie to me!!
Does your child lie to you? I mean about EVERYTHING? Is it an age thing? Is it a gender thing? Will I have to go through this shit will all three of them? I gotta tell ya, I don't know if I can hack it! Go back to diapers!! Shit, I can handle. Spit up has nothing on me! Pee all over? I've got towels galore! Lying through your damn teeth while you look me straight in the eyes though? That's grounds for DISMISSAL! Dismissal as in, no one will ever find the evidence to prove it was me! You have caused your own demise here my boy!
Our oldest, Ayden, just turned 7. He's developing an attitude and a mean affluence to lying. I'm getting dinner on the table tonight. "Hey you guys. Are all the toys picked up?" A- "Yep!" (cue frantic running and toys being tossed around faster than a football at the 10 yard line). Me - "Are you sure Bud? A - "Yep! All picked up." Kye (middle son) - "No their not mommy" A - "Yes they are Kye!!!" K - Nuh huh! A - Un huh! K - Nuh huh!....You get the picture. Unknown to them, I'm standing at the top of the stairs watching this whole mess unfolding. Frantic toy tossing going on I tell ya! Frantic as hell! So I wait. I walk around the corner so to hide my voice a little and ask Ayden again if he's absolutely sure the toys are picked up. Again, "Yep!" I step around the corner to find him looking up the stairs with his arms full of toys. I confront him. "Why did you just lie to me?" Of course I get "I don't know." Nothing. Nothing pisses me off more than the "I. Don't. Know"!!! Makes me want to cut a bitch!
I remind him that this is not the first time today that he has lied to me and he needs to watch himself or the new BB gun birthday present is mine! (Judge away. Yes my 7 yr old has a BB gun. Yes, he wears safety glasses when shooting it. No, it doesn't shoot real bullets. No, he does not take off into the woods in search of dinner while ma and pa are at home tanning hides of the helpless animals he slaughtered for breakfast. That's next week's episode of "Killer of the Frozen Tundra" the Alaskan version). Anyway, the BB gun threat peaks his interest and he frantically apologizes.
Fast forward a few hours. The boys are in their room getting pj's on. They're messing around. Kye starts crying. "What happened?" Nothing. "What happened you guys?" Nothing. "Hello?! What the hell happened up there?" A - "NOTHING!!" K - "He kicked me in the stomach" A - "Did not!" K - "Did too!" A - "DID NOT!!" K - "DID TOO"...You get the picture.....
GAME OVER!!! Ayden got his extra life taken away and sent to bed. Kye & Teagan (daughter) brushed their teeth, put on pj's and went to bed. No passing GO. No collecting $200. No hanging out shopping and getting our nails done on Park Avenue! Straight. To. Jail!!! Hope you have an "in" and brought lots of smokes to trade with the nice people kids!!
Mommy's about to crack into a bottle of wine and read more 50 Shades of "Mr. Grey, you are a very fucked up man"! Hope your night is as peaceful as it is here right now.
I posted this earlier on my page. A share from "That one fb page". I do believe it just about covers it....
I do you guys. I really, really do!! LOL
Night all!!
https://www.facebook.com/PassTheWineMommysOutOfSedatives
Our oldest, Ayden, just turned 7. He's developing an attitude and a mean affluence to lying. I'm getting dinner on the table tonight. "Hey you guys. Are all the toys picked up?" A- "Yep!" (cue frantic running and toys being tossed around faster than a football at the 10 yard line). Me - "Are you sure Bud? A - "Yep! All picked up." Kye (middle son) - "No their not mommy" A - "Yes they are Kye!!!" K - Nuh huh! A - Un huh! K - Nuh huh!....You get the picture. Unknown to them, I'm standing at the top of the stairs watching this whole mess unfolding. Frantic toy tossing going on I tell ya! Frantic as hell! So I wait. I walk around the corner so to hide my voice a little and ask Ayden again if he's absolutely sure the toys are picked up. Again, "Yep!" I step around the corner to find him looking up the stairs with his arms full of toys. I confront him. "Why did you just lie to me?" Of course I get "I don't know." Nothing. Nothing pisses me off more than the "I. Don't. Know"!!! Makes me want to cut a bitch!
I remind him that this is not the first time today that he has lied to me and he needs to watch himself or the new BB gun birthday present is mine! (Judge away. Yes my 7 yr old has a BB gun. Yes, he wears safety glasses when shooting it. No, it doesn't shoot real bullets. No, he does not take off into the woods in search of dinner while ma and pa are at home tanning hides of the helpless animals he slaughtered for breakfast. That's next week's episode of "Killer of the Frozen Tundra" the Alaskan version). Anyway, the BB gun threat peaks his interest and he frantically apologizes.
Fast forward a few hours. The boys are in their room getting pj's on. They're messing around. Kye starts crying. "What happened?" Nothing. "What happened you guys?" Nothing. "Hello?! What the hell happened up there?" A - "NOTHING!!" K - "He kicked me in the stomach" A - "Did not!" K - "Did too!" A - "DID NOT!!" K - "DID TOO"...You get the picture.....
GAME OVER!!! Ayden got his extra life taken away and sent to bed. Kye & Teagan (daughter) brushed their teeth, put on pj's and went to bed. No passing GO. No collecting $200. No hanging out shopping and getting our nails done on Park Avenue! Straight. To. Jail!!! Hope you have an "in" and brought lots of smokes to trade with the nice people kids!!
Mommy's about to crack into a bottle of wine and read more 50 Shades of "Mr. Grey, you are a very fucked up man"! Hope your night is as peaceful as it is here right now.
I posted this earlier on my page. A share from "That one fb page". I do believe it just about covers it....
I do you guys. I really, really do!! LOL
Night all!!
https://www.facebook.com/PassTheWineMommysOutOfSedatives
Thursday, March 7, 2013
The morning has been a usual one. Woke up to kids playing then screaming and fighting. Why do they do that? What happened to rolling out of bed, zombie-ing your way to the bathroom, peeing all over the floor (the boys anyway, I've never had much of a problem making it but shit happens), closing the lid, forgetting to flush, zombie-ing your way back to bed. Only for mom to come in 5 minutes later, flip on the light and shout "Get up! It's time for school!!" To which you want to throw your pillow at her, shout major obscenities and go back to sleep. Awwww.....the good ol' days.
In the mean time if my daughter could be writing this, this is how this post would go:
Giggle, giggle, snort, fart....ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING SO HARD....more snorting, someone else farts....ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING like a hyena zeroing in on the pack's left overs. "K" (middle brother) decides this is the perfect opportunity to wrestle (he has some domineering issues. It's the whole middle child thing...my mom hopes).
Get off me "K"!!!! MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!! [Enter mom] "What in the hell are you doing?! Get off of your sister! (something every mom should say at least once in her life...yuck!) You're going to hurt her! What were you thinking? (complete rhetorical question. Do 4 yr olds even think?) "T" you go in your room, "K" and "A" GET DRESSED you have school today!!" [Exit mom]. Back to the same BS. Giggle, giggle, snort, fart....ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING SO HARD!! etc, etc, etc.
My brothers and I are ridiculous. And now they have just pushed me out of their room and slammed the door in my face. Jerks!!....MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
"A", open this door RIGHT NOW!! (I have spoiled rotten snot issues) [pound, pound, pound]
Sincerely,
Princess "T"
Hope your day is going as well!!
Meccala
https://www.facebook.com/PassTheWineMommysOutOfSedatives
In the mean time if my daughter could be writing this, this is how this post would go:
Giggle, giggle, snort, fart....ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING SO HARD....more snorting, someone else farts....ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING like a hyena zeroing in on the pack's left overs. "K" (middle brother) decides this is the perfect opportunity to wrestle (he has some domineering issues. It's the whole middle child thing...my mom hopes).
Get off me "K"!!!! MOMMMMMMMMYYYYYY!!!!! [Enter mom] "What in the hell are you doing?! Get off of your sister! (something every mom should say at least once in her life...yuck!) You're going to hurt her! What were you thinking? (complete rhetorical question. Do 4 yr olds even think?) "T" you go in your room, "K" and "A" GET DRESSED you have school today!!" [Exit mom]. Back to the same BS. Giggle, giggle, snort, fart....ROLLING ON THE FLOOR LAUGHING SO HARD!! etc, etc, etc.
My brothers and I are ridiculous. And now they have just pushed me out of their room and slammed the door in my face. Jerks!!....MOMMMMMMMYYYYYYY!!!!!!!
"A", open this door RIGHT NOW!! (I have spoiled rotten snot issues) [pound, pound, pound]
Sincerely,
Princess "T"
Hope your day is going as well!!
Meccala
https://www.facebook.com/PassTheWineMommysOutOfSedatives
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