We started the day like any other here on the home front. Mass confusion followed by mass fuckery followed by mom losing her shit. Why do kids have to act that way?? Why is one day any different from the other? When did it become "ok" to do as we please rather than what needs to be got the hell done in the mornings??? Every. Single. Morning...."Hey guys, get dressed, brush your teeth and make your beds". Yes, I know they're only 4 and 7 but all I've asked them to do is "sit on your pillow, grab the corners of the sheet and comforter and pull 'em up". Simple right?? Apparently not!! I still have to tell them every single day to do those three simple tasks. Also, the boys have bunk beds. My fat ass is not schlepping up the ladder to make anyone's bed. AND every time I bend down to make the smallish one's bed, I whack my fucking head. Every. Damn. Time.
As I said we started this day like any other, then shit went south real fast.....The oldest felt it was his morning to tell me how shit was going to go down. The middle one decided he wasn't getting dressed and he was NOT going to go to preschool. The littlest one just ran in circles singing some annoying Dora song. I was sure eventually she'd fall down and barf from being dizzy but no. She just kept on going. Kids are so fricking weird!! All of this of course drove the mom into a complete mental awareness of her pending doom. Of course I was tired. Of course I didn't go to bed early enough last night. Of course I just wanted to go back to sleep and forget that school even exists. BUT...I couldn't. So instead, I put the smack down! I wasn't having the attitude of a 7 yr old and the stubborn bullshit of a 4 yr old slow me down! I was going to get through this morning! There would be survivors damn it!!! I'm a nurse! I save people's asses all the time! I hold pressure on profusely bleeding wounds! I pull people back from the brink of "the light" all the time! I perform CPR! I give mouth-to-mouth for fuck's sake!! *shudder* I HAVE to keep my cool in these situations! I can do this shit! Or....at least I thought I could. Today was NOT my fucking day!
The ride to school was an immense mess of screaming, fighting, arguing and just mass bullshit! I've never seen two people more fucking concerned with the other one's toy in my life! It was ri-dic-u-lous!!! "I want that! Give it to me now!" "NO, I HAD IT FIRST!" Whack, smack, scream, holler, scream some more....Then, oh then, enter mom. Mind you, I have never talked to my kids the way I did today...ever! I had had enough!! Could not take anymore bullshit! We were running almost 20 minutes late. TWENTY!!! I was past the eye twitch phase. I was past the steam pouring from my ears phase. I was in the glowing red eyes, waiting in the shadows to pounce and eat them raw, while screaming like a banshee phase!
Without warning, I yanked the wheel to the side of the road. I slammed on the brakes. I whipped around and proceeded to start screaming! Not yelling but SCREAMING!! I don't even remember what I said. I just know it was horrible!!!! Needless to say, the rest of the ride was extremely quite. I got the 4yr old dropped off and headed to the 7yr old's school. Of course we were 15 min. late for one and 10 min. early for the other. SMFH!! The school doesn't want the kids to go in too early so I pulled into the parking lot in hopes of apologizing for becoming Poltergeist earlier. And then it happened, the 7yr old started in on me! "I want to go in. Why can't I go in? I want to go in NOW mommy! All of my friends are going in. I want to go in!!! Mommy!! Mommy!!! MOMMMMMMYYYY!!!!"
I finally, very calmly turned to him and said, "You will go in when it is time. If you say one more word about going in, you will NEVER go in again! Do you understand what I'm laying down here?" He didn't get it and of course it just led to more bitching and whining and moaning and complaining until I finally told him to get out and go in. "Have a good day, bud!" "Whatever....mommy" Yes child, what-the-fuck-ever.
After school was even worse. It was a total melt down about going to karate. A mess of quantum levels in the parking lot at karate. I was so mad that my heart was hurting. I do not mean "breaking". I mean hurting! My left arm was numb. The fingers on my left hand were tingling. I was sure I was going to die right there! The child's incessant mockery of my parenting abilities then led to a skipped karate and a come home literally minutes before karate was starting. Then a fast jog to the bedroom for the night with the warning to never emerge again....at least not until morning.
I was left wondering, Why can't I be sent to my room for bad behavior?? I'd break every glass object, slam every door, throw every toy in this house to enjoy the peace and quite of my room for the evening if that's what it took!
Today sucked huge sweaty dingle berry assholes!! I can honestly say, I hated today. I hated everything about this shitty, sweaty, ass sucking day. All I know is, I have no idea whom that lady was today and I never want to meet her again! She was, bluntly, a fucking raging cunt and she scared me.
Night friends.
Meccala
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